PRESENT DELIVERY CORPS aka RECON CORPSES
Horny for the D or the V?
it’s finals time i’m horny for the A+
- accept that no pun is actually Good, but that the true nature of a good pun is to be so terrible that it becomes good.
- say every pun that occurs to you. i’m so serious about this, sometimes the most well received puns will be ones you considered not saying.
- ALWAYS laugh at your own puns, even if nobody else is. (especially if nobody else is.)
- know that you are hilarious. puns are a limitless resource and you have taken it as your duty to bring this gift to humanity. you are a hero.
White people destroyed 3/4s of the world for spices and have the nerve not to season their food.
video games can either make you the happiest human alive or they set your emotions on fire there is no in between
so i just woke up and i’m super hungover and i reallly wanted to watch evangelion so i typed in eva—and eva braun hitler’s mistress came up and i’m like eh that sounds good too
dont try to take cute selfies with both your boyfriends. everything that can go wrong will
i told myself that i was going to start being organized and an adult and pulled together but today i woke up at 5:15 for a final at 5;30, ate leftover Chinese food off the floor and then smelled a sweater on the floor before i put it on